Early Mornings, Late Nights

There is something interesting when one decides to muse on the continuity of life.

To quote Robert Jordan -

"...For the young, death is an enemy they wish to try their teeth against. To the old, she is an old friend, and old lover... one that we are not eager to meet again so soon."

After finishing my last book, it struck me how short life can be. Yes, yes, forming friends to build a lifetime of support and laughter is all fine and dandy. But what happens when you have to deal with a death in the group?

Suddenly, there was four instead of the five.

Suddenly, there is silence where the laughter was supposed to come from.

Suddenly, an opinion was not put forth when it was needed. 

How do you begin to contemplate being in such a situation?

Tonight bears the words being spoken, the words now milennial needs saying.

It's time, my readers, for us to prepare for our death.

Yes, yes, I understand it's a wee bit morbid for me to be speaking of such things at such an hour of the night (current time 3.32pm, GMT+8), but it struck me at how utterly normal it sounds.

I've my financial future planned out, I have my life somewhat decided, and I have my health being worked on.

All that's left really is to figure out how to deal with my final moments of life. Do I have enough to deal with a chronic disease? Will I die alone surrounded by machines in a sterile hospital? Or mayhaps a quick flaming death?

I suppose what scares me, is the thought of going out alone. To be utterly alone, surrounded by an encroaching darkness, with a million things you had wished you had said to him. Out out brief candle?

Dammed Shakespeare.

"I do realize that I lack the capacity to create long lasting relationships with people. This, I admit, may be due my already macabre mind, a salty tongue that very little in my immediate circle can put up with, and a sworn promise to myself to uphold a blunt honesty to everybody around me. 

It's hard to understand why is it that people can't put up with honesty. Why live in an illusion to cover a reality that you are unable to accept? Give it a thought and just figure this bit out : If you're in a place that you don't like, then do something about it. There is no such thing as a dead end. 

And to answer that, ironically, is to use this : The loss of dignity. Or what is left of it by now.

Or I just need better friends"

*shrugs*

At times I do like to blame the immediate lack of a family for these thoughts running around, but practical rationality usually kicks in and reminds me time and time again that it was I who made the final decision. 

We make our own families, we surround ourselves by people who truly love us for who and what we are. Never, EVER let it less than that. 

Settling down. Now isn't that a dream that all of us secretly nurse at the back of our minds? A lovely dream home, a warm town, and a beautiful assortments of friends and loved ones just within reach of a phone call.

How dreams carry us through our everyday life. But... I don't know. It's like I'm surrounded by bleak minded people who can't comprehend a life without having to deal with the daily grind of commuting back and forth to work. They await Death with a numbed heart. They do not welcome Death. They do not cry for the life. They simply resignedly accept Death. 

How much it hurts, to see so much life being drained. 

Where is the beauty? The joyous relief that life brings? The feel of the sun on your bare skin? The tingle of the cold air on your cheeks? 

I had better stop here before I get melodramatic. 

Yes, I have accepted Death. 

Yes, I do understand that Death comes to us all.

Yes, I will surrender to fate and go calmly as I can into the merciful hands of the dark.

But I will not seek Death. That, my dear readers, is a folly for idiots.

Jean Perdu and Nina Geroge

Hello reader!

How are you? Have you had a meal yet?

I sure hope you did. All these new fangled diets and the need to be body beautiful... It simply makes you an ugly person.

Yes, yes, you'll rock a hot body and be the epitome of physical beauty and all that, but really now. Does it matter? Does it matter to you that you are in constant need of attention? Does your conscious need all that external affirmation to make you happy?

I've always believed that happiness starts from within. You don't need self help books, or motivational speeches, or external affirmation to make you live at peace.

....... Okay fine, maybe you do. A barracuda swimming in a bathtub is all that I will accept at this point. No more, no less.

I was in New York the other day when I finished my book. The lobby was dimly lit, the decor was gaudy as the furnishings, and the staff were as cold as the frigid weather outside.

It's a wonder how the hotel can still maintain its occupancy at the rate it's going.

That aside however, I was in the lobby in full regalia while waiting to go to the bus when I read the final pages of my book. Upon closing the pages, the only thing i wanted to do was dive into the turbulent  Parisian countryside that Nina George has painted. I now use turbulent sparingly,  for the environment does have its own idyllic moments.

Painting a character was never my strongest suit. It constantly amazes me how an author can put so much life and history into a person who isn't even real, a person who lives inside the pages of a book and exists in your head.

Shall I mention that Jean Perdu (the main character the story revolves around) is incredibly sexy and a noteworthy silver fox?

Moving on.

While I was stoning downstairs, one by one the other FA's begin to pop out of the lift and made a straight beeline for the front desk to check out. After the first few obligatory hello's, I drifted back into Nine George and the comforting existence of Perdu.

"Hello Gigi."

She sat down and we both talked about what we did in the city. She - friends, forgetting, and fine dining. Me - books, boots, and boys.

I was still holding on the book when she asked me about what I was reading.

Normally the book would go straight back into my bag once I spot a fellow colleague, hidden from view and the persona of the Affable Butler up in full force.

Today was not one of those days.

Instead, I gave her the book and suggested that it might help with what was going on in her life.

Allow me to tell you this, dear readers. I am not one to simply give my books away. They are cherished treasures. Keepsakes of memories and of my love to the world. My lovers, my enemy, and my dreams. My escape, my source of happiness, my reprieve from evil. Books is what keeps me grounded and sane. And to give one away.. That takes alot.

But yes, give away one I did. The book has brought me contentment to my life. A well put anathema for my sorrows. Nothing could begin to describe how it felt to give it away. To share such happiness was remarkably easy. Saying "see you later book" was easier.

I knew I'd see the book again. And I also know for a fact that I would see her again, be it years, days, or weeks to come. That thought was good enough for me to be able to let the book out of my hands and into the safety of another.

This got me thinking : If books can provide a remedy to ailments that has no proper medical cure, why not share the love? I've been relying on books for years to make me happy, perhaps it's time for me to start giving it back.

So, my sad angel of the skies, you are the first of many in my effort to make the world a happier place.

Though truly I can't fix all of the problems, I can still sit and talk to you. And observe, and watch, and listen to you. Lend you a tissue perhaps to dry your tears, or give you a pillow to scream in.

If  books isn't your thing, do worry. You just relax and understand this one thing :

You, my readers, are simply wonderful.

Myself

Heya

I'm sure you've seen a blog before.

I'm also sure that you've read some awesome content before as well.

In fact, I am also very sure you're trying to figure out where is the sound reading this in your head coming from. Worry no more! It's the crazy in you that is making all these noises!

Now, allow me a few paragraphs to introduce myself.

You see, my beautiful ladies, I am DanDan. Long for Dan, short for.....Dan?

Let's settle for DanDan, shall we?

As of 2016, I am 27 and a Sagittarius by all accounts of my birth. I read far too much, I socialize much too less, and  I drink more than anything else.

And yes, I like my beer dark and malty.

Words I would choose to describe myself would be stark, shameless, and temperamental.

While not exactly the words that would be used to describe the traits of a flight attendant, allow me to make it clear that there is a fine line between work and real life.

I never mix the two together.

AT ALL.

In uniform, I am elegant, refined, quick for a quip, observant, and eager to please. My colleagues have mixed feelings about me, the higher office can't decide what to do with me, and the customers love me.

In civvies well..... You know la hor.

And readers? I humbly beg for your understanding that for the moment my voice here may be a wee bit incoherent. As I sort out my ideas and stories, I may come off as lost and confused and all over the place.

But no worries! All will be fine. What I need is a little practice and all will be well and dandy.

As for now, thank you for paying me a visit. As I casually push you out, do remember to drop by again.

Toodles!

*SLAM*